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To make a long story short, I was seeing this guy and he asked me totake care of his sick cat while he was out of town and at some pointover the weekend, I left a pair of boxer briefs (by accident! I’m not sure if the problem was I’d never worn a dress aroundhim on a day I was working at the bookstore or if he’d just never paidattention to my underwear?Either way, he found them when he got backand was immediately convinced that I’d fucked someone else at hishouse while I was supposed to be taking care of his dying cat.Turns out I would be saving about 20 cents if I just bought my tomatoes outside.I ask the guy to walk me home and he must have thought the date went swimmingly because he decided we should sit out on my stoop for a bit and look at the stars (there are no stars).I once dated a guy with a car when I, too, had a car — what a waste.Initially I’d thought it would be so impressive that I had a vehicle, because it meant that we could go places and do things, but then he also had one, and I think he’d also felt the same way, and so neither of us were impressed.Ididn’t handle the situation very well (laughed at him) and weeventually broke up, pretty much as a direct result of that fight.Ifhe ends up reading this I would like to state publicly — they wereactually my boxer briefs!!

But on our third date, Sam mentioned her lease had fallen through and her roommate had bailed. I still pick up the pace every time I walk by her building on my way to the subway.

When I moved to Brooklyn, I vowed not to make the same mistake, and I didn’t, until I went on several dates with the bartender at my favorite restaurant, one sneeze-length away from my apartment.

After it fizzled out, I would walk by longingly, yearning not for him, but for the tart margaritas I could see him mixing through the window.

— When we met, Sam had been subletting a place in Brooklyn for about a month.

She was new to the city and had plans to rent a place of her own with a roommate in Washington Heights at the end of the summer.

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