Dating as a plus size
And so I cannot help but feel that the problem some folks are having isn't with the over-sexualization of fat people, and specifically fat women.
But rather, with the sexualization of a group of people we're not used to being told are, in fact, sexual beings (unless they're being branded as "promiscuous" or "desperate," that is).
In an ideal world — one where equality was actualized and the notion of body shaming antiquated — we wouldn't need the new plus size dating app Woo Plus. 2015, but the app has recently skyrocketed to the press' eye, and to its fair share of criticism.
We wouldn't need an "app for plus size singles and admirers to find their matches," as noted on the app's i Tunes landing page, or for "big beautiful women (BBW), big handsome men (BHM), fat admirers, chubby girl[s], Dadbod[s], curvy women, thick women, and everything in between," because the notion that fat bodies are as desirable as any other body type, in that some people find them desirable and some don't, would be understood — and not just by fat people themselves, but by all people. Refinery29's Liz Black took note of the app's "condescending ads," tweeting, "Like a plus size woman would be shocked a man thinks she's hot."Blogger Callie Thorpe of From The Corners Of The Curve told ASOS, "It feels that instead of addressing the way plus size women are treated in society — and most certainly on the dating scene — we are having to further separate them."In the same article, curve model Felicity Hayward said, "To then make a separate dating app for bigger girls is a completely backwards step.
That it would also affect dating doesn't seem unreasonable.
This means that fat people grow up thinking their bodies are wrong, broken, ugly, and totally-not-sexy, while those attracted to fat bodies (regardless of their own body type) grow up thinking they are broken for being attracted to them.
I've been in a relationship with my current partner for over four years.
But if anything ever happened, I'd want to be with another someone who actually loves my body. This isn't to be confused with "someone who loves me for my body," and only that.
The term BBW is intrinsically linked to the world of fat porn and fat fetishism, but I've always believed that it's misunderstood.There are no apps for girls under a certain weight, so creating something for bigger girls is basically segregating them from the norm. "SLi NK Magazine Editor Rivkie Baum told Huffington Post that Woo Plus' approach was "animalistic," adding, "I can’t help feeling that continuing to make bigger bodies into a fetish by segregating them continues to make falling in love with someone above a size 18 seem unusual."I understand every single one of their points, and for the most part, I agree wholeheartedly.Some of Woo Plus' advertising is questionable, at best — the ad that Black highlighted in her tweet being a prime example. Could they have gone about these things far, far better? But is the actual woman's feeling in the aforementioned ad unrealistic? Because when, in this world, are fat women (and fat men, in all honesty) taught that they are just as sexually desirable as their thinner or toned counterparts?It depicts fat women as being unaware of, if not entire disbelieving of, their physical attraction, while depicting men as coming in to save the day and teach them otherwise. Most fat people are told their "hotness" is 100 percent impossible. Regarding the app's emphasis on plus size women, Li tells me via email, "Woo Plus aims to provide a comfortable dating platform for all plus size singles and their admirers.Plus, during interviews, creators Neil Raman and Michelle Li have suggested that Woo Plus is predominantly meant to help women, rather than all plus size individuals as the app's "about page" claims. However, plus size women tend to be more the focus of cruelty and body shaming as opposed to their male counterparts." While there's no stat to back that up, the inherent marginalization of women in our society is sort of evidence enough.