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As a young woman of color, I can attest to the fact that many people in this world feel it is their duty — no, their God-given right — to decide what is best for me, and especially whom is best for me to date.

The concept of a black man in a relationship with a white woman is a "thing" that people have an opinion on...

I couldn't stop repeating the first part of the Clutch headline over and over again in my head. She wrote in a Huffington Post blog late last year: It is the same sharp tug of disappointment that gets me every time I see a black man with a white woman on his arm.

Try as I might to suppress the reaction, I experience black men's choice of white women as a personal rejection of the group in which I am a part, of African American women as a whole, who have always been devalued in this society.

We’d rather pretend that you like us for us, not for that specific physical attribute that we share with every other black person. She started to tell me about the guy she lost her virginity to 20 years earlier. Now here is where our interaction started to venture off the rails. Once she found the photo she was looking for, she was on a roll.

She pulled out her phone and began clicking through photos. She showed me a succession of recent pictures of her then-40ish first-timer posing outside shirtless because, well, why not?

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